My daughter hosts a bachelorette party in New Orleans for her bride-to-be friend and is called out on Facebook for not sending written invitations and calling to make sure they were received. The shoemaker’s children go barefoot, as they say.
Filmmakers Suzanne Breaux and Sharon Donnan premiere their Coton Jaune at Vermilionville and the Perfomance Center is packed. The 37-minute documentary airs with a re-enactment of La Grande Dérangement by Pat Mire to the tunes of Zachary Richard. Even though the Acadians are still angry, they manage to grow cotton and survive, thanks to the women who work in the attic during the winter when they weren’t needed in the fields. One typical family had 13 children and the mother wove and spun a trousseau for each daughter beginning when they were born. I don’t really remember anything else after 13 children.
Bryan and Sylvia McLain unveil their stunning St. Jude Dream Home at 103 Habitat Ridge Drive and the traffic outside is also a grande dérangement. TV’s Tracy Wirtz gets blocked in. A gentleman appears in the doorway and shouts out “White Camry!” He is met with silence and a shrug and says, “You can talk to the police when they get here.”
Early May: My daughter attends a bridal shower for her friend, who’s getting married at the end of the month in a do-it-yourself wedding. One of the games is a do-it-yourself wedding dress made of toilet tissue. The marital symbolism is probably better left unsaid.
The Petroleum Club holds a Mother-Daughter-Granddaughter Tea on Sunday. The photos from this event are always fabulous as generations of ladies gather for a formal tea. One little lady has dressed herself, but it takes two grown women to wrestle her into compliance. Grandma says the little girl is a writer. That explains it.
The Hilton hosts the United Way Women’s Leadership Council Luncheon and Melanie Bronfin of the Policy Institute for Literacy speaks in favor of early childhood education. Sadly, no one has to be wrestled.
Shadows on the Teche hosts the perfect preview party for Art & Shadows. What’s not to like about a pre-Civil War mansion, dance floor under the oaks complete with chandelier, and fiddler David Greely on the front porch? French Press caters and serves vodka infused lemonade with a sprig of thyme. Watch the second one.
My daughter prepares a five-course dinner for Mother’s Day by herself. Tasso cream pasta, mini-crab cakes, and salmon with sautéed greens avec mashed potatoes. Her boyfriend is back from Spain and can build a rig or make a champagne beurre blanc just the same. To honor the day, she shares an untold story about the time in Colorado when she challenged a 200+lb deejay to a hot wings contest and won– a baker’s dozen in under fifteen minutes, including The Ghost Pepper, more than a million Scoville units, orTabasco sauce to the 5th power. She said the guy had tears streaming down his cheeks by the end and couldn’t finish.
When a woman’s from Lafayette, you better bring the heat.
Mid-April: The Advocate publishes its first wedding section and my daughter attends a country wedding in Lecompte. After several Rum Chata shots at the reception, the guests decide to be festive and fire up wedding sparklers. My daughter is from New Orleans where they fire guns in the air for festivity, so when one guest shouts “Throw!” my daughter actually does. Fortunately, the bride is not singed.
This year’s LEF’s ReProm gala at the Lafayette Hilton also has a festive country theme and is a reminder that men should never have quit wearing cowboy hats. No one has guns.
The Acadiana Republican Women meet and mingle over lunch at River Oaks. Gunning for insurance commissioner, Matt Parker announced, “We need to stop all this crap.” Perhaps he can be persuaded to run for president.
Festival International comes to town for five days, as do lots of big guns.
My daughter calls during The Friends of Humanities luncheon and says she’s sprained her ankle. She was running steps like Rocky and missed one. Her ankle now looks like it just went 10 rounds with Apollo Creed. There will be no rematch.
Don Allen and I drive in the pouring rain to Evangeline Downs Night with former quarterback Jake Delhomme, a clever fundraiser that combines Crown and coaches. Money raised from the fine dining-racing event helps retain coaching talent at UL Lafayette, and I get a kiss on the cheek from Jake. If they really want to raise money, that’s what they should auction.
Don doesn’t bet the horse I pick, Fiftyshadesofbay, and it wins. I go by the name, he goes by the racing form. The horse was a mudder after all. Don used to call the races and thinks he knows things.
John Conlee is appearing at Evangeline Downs and I get two tickets for the front. “Rose Colored Glasses” used to be my ex-husband’s favorite song.
End of March: Anne Hidalgo, the Mayor of Paris, comes to Lafayette with other French-speaking mayors to meet with Joey Durel on behalf of French-speaking cities everywhere. Madame is a chic brunette in snakeskin kitten heels and says “Bien sûr” when I raise my camera.
Two students on a field trip have been tasked to speak French, but their teacher interrupts and says I don’t count, even though I once played Estelle—en français — in Sartre’s existentialist No Exit, a woman who commits infanticide by dropping her lover’s baby out the window. The other two roles were a coward and a lesbian. The play was set in hell. The French write things like this.
April 2: I interview the cast and director of The Last Days of Judas Iscariot, a darkly comic look at free will, destiny, and redemption opening mid-April at Cité des Arts. There are 23 characters including Satan and Sigmund Freud. The play is set in hell. Americans write things like this.
March 26: Jennifer LeBlanc and I go back to New Orleans Fashion Week for the runway shows at the Board of Trade on Magazine. This time we have a driver from Limousines Limited. Amos is completing his personal security training, which helps when you drive people like Ben Affleck around.
We pull up to Valobra in the Quarter, where Jennifer’s longtime friend, Giorgio Valobra, has chilled the Veuve Cliquot. Jennifer knows a lot of people who do things like chill the Veuve Cliquot.
At the Board of Trade, we sit on the front row only because we printed out signs that say “Reservato” in Italian before we left Giorgio’s store. Everyone is fashionable, especially Raoul Blanco and photographer Jake Revolt.
Afterwards, Giorgio makes reservations for dinner at Tommy’s Cuisine, where the waiter leans over and says to him, “You are the king of queens tonight.” The one man-two women combination gets them every time.
We get home at 1:00 in the morning, but attend the Gridiron Show the next day in Baton Rouge just the same. Gridiron is where reporters make fun of politicians in parody and song.
Where else can you serenade Bobby Jindal’s portrait with “Whiter Shade of Pale?”
Saturday, March 21: Designer Raoul Blanco, Jennifer LeBlanc, and I set out for the VIP party that kicks off New Orleans Fashion Week, a series of high-end runway shows, presentations, and social experiences. I-10’s a breeze in Jennifer’s new $120K Mercedes. We want to be back by 10 p.m.
Over Lake Ponchartrain, the traffic is backed up for miles due to marsh fires. The locals have slowed down to film with their phones and rubberneck. That Orleanians even notice when something’s on fire is noteworthy.
Raoul decides to take a shortcut to the Quarter. We are an hour late.
People are very fashionable at Presbytère, and there’s no party like a New Orleans party.
We want to eat dinner at Galatoire’s afterwards, but have to park at the Royal Sonesta, go through the lobby, and then walk down Bourbon Street. Anyone on Bourbon Street in a cocktail dress on Saturday night is presumed to be a prostitute. The Sonesta concierge gives us the fish-eye, which says “Not in my hotel.”
The Galatoire maître d’ makes us wait 20 minutes while considering whether or not to seat us. A waiter winks and tells Raoul, “You have your hands full tonight.”
Later, Raoul goes to get the car while we stand on the corner outside. Assuming we’re call girls, cabbies honk.
Not home until 1:00 a.m. I can’t wait to go again next week.
Second Week in March: The Cajundome hosts a bridal expo and The Advocate has a booth to roll out its new bridal section. The Zydeco Marathon is running that same day and puts orange cones across three lanes of Congress blocking access so that nobody rolls. Inside the Dome, the Limousines Limited guys are on a roll.
My daughter goes dress shopping at a David’s Bridal sale with her friend who’s getting married and says she’ll elope first. This is no reflection on The Advocate’s bridal section.
Real Estate mogul Van Eaton & Romero honors its elite with a swanky City Club breakfast. They are an hour off on the arrival time. Good that it wasn’t a closing.
Work begins on fake rigs in Chalmette for the $156 million filming of Deepwater Horizon starring Mark Wahlberg and a casting call goes out for actual rig workers to appear in on-rig scenes. I recommend my daughter’s boyfriend, because he’s a natural and nobody elopes to Chalmette.
First Week in March: The Symphony League hosts their Mad Hatter’s Luncheon at La Marquise, whose supplier chooses that moment to unload his truck and block the parking lot. No one can see this until they’ve already turned the corner, forcing several cars of women in very large hats to back up and drive around to the front, where La Marquise has put out traffic cones to block its other lot entrance. The cones are scorned.
The Lafayette Education Foundation has a ReProm social at the home of Iggy and Tia Castille. A winter storm causes temperatures to fall below freezing and Mr. Castille, who owns a landscaping firm, is happy as a clam. ReProm is an excellent fundraiser that puts money directly in the hands of teachers and bypasses bureaucracy altogether. It’s also good to know you can relive high school, including photo bombing.
The Alzheimer’s Association readies itself for Blondes vs. Brunettes, a women’s tag team football fundraiser for which several genuine players have been recruited as coaches, including former NFL defensive end and Ragin’ Cajun Chris Gannon. I remember when I used to accidentally get phone calls from his team late at night.
Last week in February: The weather turns cold and dismal, but not the men. The University of Louisiana at Lafayette brings Irvin Mayfield to heat things up with a jazz concert and three-day residency, courtesy of the Ernest Gaines Center and others, while Chan Kiat Lim’s piano is on fire at a faculty recital.
Dr. Todd Howell opens up a vast new anti-aging operation in the Abraham Center and celebrates with a cocktail party, courtesy of Ruffino’s. Hordes interested in the fountain of youth arrive, and I have to hike in from the field across the way. The doctor and his partners appear to partake of their own stash.
The University welcomes dignitaries from Mexico with a reception at The International Center downtown. They are here to sign an agreement encouraging cooperation and exchange in education and technology. The Mexican Consulate comes from Nueva Orleans, including Enrique May, who has only been in this country for 15 days and whose friends took him to Mardi Gras on Bourbon Street. Welcome to the United States.
Hundreds of women happily converge upstairs at the Lafayette Hilton for the annual American Heart Association’s Go Red for Women luncheon. As they say in North Dakota, it sounded like sunrise on a guinea farm.